Discard and carry on.

 

Over the weekend, I bid adieu to some of my things. I cleaned up the mess that is my room. Thanks to my BIG TIDYING PROJECT that I did successfully with the help of Ann Mari Kondo, author of ‘The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up’ and creator of the famous Konmari method of decluttering. The Konmari method starts with discarding things first then sorting them out. Ann Mari’s number one rule in deciding whether to discard something or not is to ask yourself, “Does it spark joy in you“? If after that question, you still find yourself going back and forth, she gave this wonderful tip.

To truly cherish the things that are important to you, you must first discard those that have outlived their purpose.

And so I did. I started with things and by the end of the night, I found myself reflecting on my relationships with people as well. It was necessary to say goodbye to some of them.

  • To my lime-green dress. It was the dress my mom gave me as a gift when she found out I’d be doing an internship in Washington D.C. It was also the dress that caused a scene when I wore it to a “wear a red or green” Christmas party at work. It was green to me! But I got flak for it because everyone said it wasn’t Christmas green. I think I have graduated from using this dress.
  • To my snakeskin printed top. It was my always reliable office top. I had a huge crush on this guy that I see at work. For some reason, on the days that I see him I was always wearing this top and it annoyed me because I didn’t want him to think that this is the only top I own. This memory makes me smile. Now I can let it go.
  • To my bright red cardigan that my godmother gave me last Christmas. Even though I hate its shade of red, I wore it a few more times than I wanted to because I wanted to love it. Every time I wear it, I always hope that my feelings would change. But it never does. I realized that you can’t force love. I had to give it to someone who will love it for what it is.
  • To the hoodie/sweatshirt that my dad gave me last Christmas. I wasn’t too excited receiving it. It wasn’t me at all to wear something like that, but my mom and dad liked it for me and so I pretended I liked it and considered wearing it. One year later, I still haven’t worn it. I realized you can’t force yourself to be someone you are not. It had to go.
  • To my Nike black and pink rubber shoes. My first (and for a time being, the only) rubber shoes I had after moving here in the U.S. I had so many memories with these shoes. I wore it almost everyday for more than a year while I worked as a cashier and waitress at a Japanese-Chinese restaurant. I owe those shoes for taking care of me and supporting me in my most stressful and exhausting days. One time I spilled a container of gyoza sauce on it, I considered retiring them. But I didn’t because I loved wearing them. While I was putting it in the garbage bag, I tried my best not to cry being reminded of everything I’ve gone through with them shoes.
  • To that Nicholas Sparks book that isn’t the best I read of him but I finished. Bye.
  • To Lena Dunham’s book that I tried my best to finish, but I really couldn’t no matter how much I love her. Bye.
  • To those Nylon magazines that I promised to read when I get the time. I have never found the time. Bye.
  • To T, who I’ve known for a month now. He taught me that I shouldn’t be afraid to be honest with guys. That I should lose my fear of rejection. That if they don’t respect what I want, then they don’t deserve me. When I met him the first time I was so head over heels giddy of what I thought I felt for him, that I had a self-transformation. Because of what he made me feel, I realized that I like myself when I’m in love. I want to be that kind of inspired all the time. T and I just didn’t click as I’d hoped. I think this is the end for us. Thank you and goodbye.
  • To R, who I met on a whim. He taught me what magical chemistry and connection felt like. What it felt like to meet someone for the first time yet connect like we have been friends forever. He made me realize that perfect moments exist, but that it doesn’t mean we are perfect for each other. And that’s alright. Some things are better left in the moment and I am happy that we had what we shared. Thank you and goodbye.

As I said goodbye to all those things, I felt as if I have welcomed a new me. It feels great to recognize those things that I actually really need and keep only those that matter.

It felt good letting go of what didn’t serve me anymore and pass them back on to the universe. I felt free and I think I just won my true self back. Discard and carry on.

Gotta Love D.C.

Fine, I’m eating my words. I hated Washington D.C. the first time I was here back in 2007 because I found the atmosphere boring for my taste. I see university students, people in suits who look like they’re in the middle of a conference call with business partners in  Shanghai, and tourist families exalted to see the White House and A Lincoln.

Now, six years later, my thoughts about this place have changed. Maybe because I’m of age already to appreciate this kind of independent and intellectual vibe of the city. There are so many yuppies here, and people my age, who just sit around in parks enjoying the sunny afternoon, hang out in cool cafes, and enjoy walking around the smart city while deep in their ideological conversations. I am beginning to love it! Actually while I’m doing an unpaid internship here in D.C, I’m whiling away idle time by looking at the best places to get coffee, pizza, tapas, Ethiopian food and etc. and imagine where I’d be spending my non-existent and future money! Oh, gosh. This is totally unhealthy, but how do I stop planning these fun and exciting activities when I’m surrounded by such variety, such inspiration for life, culture, food, and beauty? I hate that I am so poor right now. I am noone but someone young without consuming power. Since I’m on a rampage here, I’ll go ahead and share to you that I’m also planning where to spend my afternoons next week, because my boss will be out of town and I thought that maybe it will be worthwhile to visit some museum and galleries while she’s gone. I’m so unprofessional I know, but fuck it, I’m in D.C. Gotta make the most out of it while I’m here!